It's Not About Gender
by Piccolo999
Summary: Buffy muses on Satsu. Willow confronts her about it. Buffy/Satsu. Don't read if you don't like the pairing. Rated for possible future chapters.
1. It's Not About Gender Part One

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It's Not About Gender

Scotland was cold. Really frickin' cold!

Buffy Summers, the original Slayer, sat about her room, deep in thought. The room itself? Oh, it wasn't much. She did live in an old castle, after all. It was mostly bare, adorned with flowery pictures and ancient weaponry. I know, weird combination, huh? Strangely, thought, it really seemed to sum up Buffy Summers.

What was on her mind, you ask? Oh, you know, the usual. The virtually unknown enemy that lurked in her future with his fancy ass flyin' and billowy black coat (so original!), the hordes of Demons she would no doubt be battling sometime soon, and of course, the most predominant topic – Satsu, her sister-slayer and sometimes lesbian lover. Okay, so maybe it's not all that usual.

Ever since leaving Satsu behind in Japan, Buffy hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. It was infuriating. She didn't know how to come to terms with her sudden longing for Satsu. She had never felt this way about a woman before – never, ever. So why now? What about Satsu was different? Or was it, actually, nothing to do with her?

They might make instruction manuals for lesbian sex, but they certainly didn't make them for this.

A knock on the door signalled the arrival of Willow, who opened the door shortly after and stood regarding her best friend from the doorway. Buffy glanced up only once, mumbled a, 'Hey Will,' and then went back to thinking about Satsu.

'What's up Buff? You're like, all pensive.'

'It's nothing,' Buffy said, in a pretty pathetic attempt to deflect the Witch's questions.

'Really?' Willow let a smile of amusement flit across her face as she shut the door behind her. ''Cos you're been like this ever since we left Tokyo. And _Satsu_.'

Buffy turned around on her bed and looked out her window, gazing up at the stars, over the rolling Scottish highlands, anything she could look at, as long as it wasn't Willow's smug looking face.

'Why are you trying so hard to deny it?' Willow asked, genuinely curious. 'It's so obvious you're into her. And why wouldn't you be? She's really hot, she's strong, she's completely in love with _you_, and hey, she really does have the coolest hair.'

Buffy didn't know how to respond. She couldn't answer those questions to herself, so how could she answer them to Willow?

'It's the gay thing, isn't it? It completely wigs you, I know. I saw it in your face the first time I told you about Tara. If I wasn't your friend, you would have thought I was a freak, wouldn't you?'

'No!' Buffy suddenly whipped around, facing Willow for the first time. 'I… that wasn't the reason, you just surprised me. I'm not like that. I don't feel that way. I'm all open mindy about that stuff.'

'Then what about Satsu?' Willow asked the big question.

'I don't know,' Buffy said, lowering her head. She went on, in a whisper, 'I can't stop thinking about her. I won't deny it. I dream about her, but it's not even sexual. I just dream of her. Being with her. Touching her belly. Will, she has such a sexy belly.'

'If that isn't a sign,' Willow said, 'then I don't know what is. You like Satsu, Buffy. Maybe you even love her.'

Buffy closed her eyes. 'Maybe,' she admitted.

'Then what are you still doing here?' Willow asked. 'Get your skinny Slayer butt over to Tokyo and bring Satsu back.'

'I can't,' Buffy argued.

'Why not?'

'Because I… I'm not gay,' Buffy said.

'Will you stop with the gay fixation?' Willow very nearly shouted. 'Why must people put labels on things like this? Gay, Straight, they're just words, Buffy. Like Love and Hate. They can't sum up what a person feels. People are more complicated than that. You didn't love Angel because he was a man, did you? You loved him for who he was! You think I didn't love Oz? Because I did. So much. Still do. Gender doesn't matter when it comes to love, Buffy. You love whomever you love, regardless. And if you can accept it, that's swell. If not, I feel sorry for you. It's up to you, Buffy. Satsu won't wait forever.'

'You really believe that?' Buffy asked.

'I do,' Willow replied. 'I mean, yeah, people have preferences. I'd say I lean more towards women, attraction wise, but that doesn't mean I won't fall for a guy in the future. You definitely lean more towards men, but something about Satsu has always attracted you. You had sex with her, Buff. Think you could do that if you didn't feel some attraction? Sexually? And you're pining for her. And it's more than just lust, isn't it? Face it, Buffy. Accept it. Trust me, it's amazing.'

Buffy allowed herself a sad little smile. 'I remember,' she admitted. 'And…'

'And?' Willow prompted.

'I always did love her hair.'

**A/N:** Okay, short and then just a little bit more short, I know, but it was just a little tester I did in like half an hour. If you guys like, let me know, and I'll write more. I'm not saying it'll turn into a full on fanfic, but it'll at least be a few one-shots and snippet and stuff, depending on what comes to mind. Maybe next time we'll actually get some Satsu and Buffy lovin'. Who knows? Really liking this pairing right now. Oh, yeah, I've only read up to "Wolves at the Gate", please don't ruin what happens later for me if you're read ahead. Review and tell me what you think. Thanks a lot for reading!


	2. It's Not About Gender Part Two

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It's Not About Gender

Part Two

'Tsuki - cover the back door. Ichi, Kasumi, Yori – you're with me. We go in fast, take 'em down. I don't want a single vamp left alive. You hear me?'

'Yes Ma'am,' Yori and Kasumi said at the same time, sharing conspiring grins. Those two never took things seriously enough. Tsuki nodded her own assent. Ichi hefted her choice weapon, an imitation of Buffy's scythe the girl had made all on her own. If Yori and Kasumi didn't take things seriously enough, Ichi definitely took things way too seriously.

Satsu sighed and gave the go ahead with a wave of her hand.

Being a leader was tough.

The five girls fell on the nest of vampires. As ordered, Tsuki ran around the back, making sure that none of the vamps could escape. Satsu led the charge into the hijacked family tomb. The vampires put up a decent fight, but in the end they fell to the band of Slayers. Satsu showed the untested girls how it was done, dashing around the cramped space, flipping through the air like she belonged there, the blade of her lethal katana flashing, rendering vampires down to dust. At the same time, she kept her eyes open, watching how the other girls handled things. Yori and Kasumi worked well as a team, but proved unsuccessful when it came time to actually staking the vampire. Tsuki was of average skill. Ichi was the dark horse and proved herself to be very talented. She used her makeshift Slayer scythe effectively, moving fluidly through the tomb like a force of water, taking vamps down left and right. Satsu would definitely be watching that one.

She was kinda cute too.

Not Buffy cute, but then, who was?

Satsu dusted her clothing and mussed up her hair before addressing her charges, 'Okay, that wasn't too bad. Some of you need a little more training, but I'm confident you can improve. Ichi – well done, you really - '

'Kicked ass?'

Satsu froze. Goose bumps broke out all over body, just like they always did when she heard _her_ voice. Felt her presence. She turned around, trying to keep her cool. They weren't Master and student anymore. They were equals.

'Buffy?' Damn, her voice had to squeak like an excited little girls, didn't it?

Buffy smiled charmingly, dimpling her cheeks. 'Hi Satsu,' she said.

'What… how… what are you… how did you…?' Satsu just didn't know which to ask first.

'Doing here? Get here?' Buffy finished them for her. 'Well, Willow brought me.'

Satsu finally noticed the red headed Witch standing next to her beloved. 'Oh. Hi Willow.'

'Hey Satsu,' Willow said, giving her a knowing smile. What was that about?

'As for what I'm doing here,' Buffy paused, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks as she glanced at the four Asian girls standing behind Satsu. 'Can we talk? Privately?'

'Umm,' Satsu glanced back the girls as well, 'okay… I guess. Follow me.'

* * *

Yori and Kasumi exchanged mischievous looks.

'What was that about?' Tsuki enquired.

'You don't know?' Yori asked, giggling.

'How can you not know?' Kasumi teased.

'What?' Tsuki looked between the two inquisitively.

'Miss Satsu and Miss Summers,' Yori began.

'Are lovers,' Kasumi finished.

'Really?' Tsuki asked, eyes wide.

'That's the word,' Kasumi replied.

'You're all idiots,' Ichi said, her voice quiet, but powerful and carrying despite the fact.

'Something you want to say?' Yori demanded, hands on her slim hips.

Ichi remained silent, but her look told them all plainly that they ought to mind their own business.

Willow watched them all with a half smile on her face, before turning her attention to Buffy and Satsu. The two Slayers had stopped some distance away, well out of human earshot, but Willow could hear them anyway. She shamelessly spied on them.

* * *

'So… how have you been?' Buffy asked nervously, unable to look Satsu in the eye. Okay, so finally admitting to yourself that you're in (possibly) love with another girl is one thing, but admitting it to said girl… harder than expected. It didn't seem to matter that they had already made love several times, or that she knew Satsu loved her. Really loved her. Loved with a capital L.

'… it's harder than it looks. I mean, I'm doing the best I can,' Satsu was saying.

Damn, Buffy, listen when you ask a question!

'Erm… cool?' Buffy tried, giving Satsu a sheepish look.

'You didn't hear a word I said, did you?'

'I heard a few,' Buffy replied, blushing even more now. 'I'm sorry, Satsu, I'm just…'

'What Buffy?'

'Nervous,' Buffy admitted.

'Oh.' Satsu chewed on her lip in the most adorable way. 'Nervous about what?'

Buffy tore her eyes away from the sight, trying to rein her mind back to the matter at hand. Stop thinking about how adorable she is and start confessing your feelings before you both die of old age, Summers! Internal chastising done, Buffy open her mouth and said, 'I miss you.' Okay, that wasn't too bad. Follow up, please! 'I… I've been dreaming about you. Oh, that sounds all pervy. It's not. I mean, it kinda is, but not pervy pervy. It's good pervy. Tasteful pervy. Oh God, shoot me now.'

Satsu giggled, smothering it with her hand. 'You're so cute,' she said, from behind her hand.

Buffy grinned. 'What I'm trying to say is… I want you to come back.'

'To Scotland?'

'To me,' Buffy said, blushing furiously.

'But… you're not gay…'

'A wise Witch once told me not to fixate on things that don't matter,' Buffy said.

''Splainey,' Satsu asked, frowning.

'Look, I've decided that I don't care about any of that,' Buffy said. 'Gay? Straight? Who cares! I know that I… I really like you Satsu. I did the first time I saw you, I was just all repressy about it. I didn't let myself even consider it because it just was so out there, for me, at the time to even remotely think about. I was stuck in a black and white place, and if I've learned one thing since becoming the Slayer, it's that the world isn't black and white. It's a marvellous rainbow of colours that blend into each other and constantly make new ones.'

'You mean you?'

'I mean I.'

Satsu's eyes sparkled with tears. 'I don't know what to say.'

'Just say you'll come back with me,' Buffy supplied.

'What about the Tokyo office? They need a leader. And I was really starting to get used to it… there is so much you taught me that I can teach these girls…'

'We'll figure it out,' Buffy said. 'That is… if you want to come back with me… I'd understand if you didn't want to give up your position of authority…'

'Are you kidding?' Satsu asked, rubbing at her eyes. 'I'd give it up in a millisecond to be with you. It's just… how serious are you?'

'I've never been more serious about anything,' Buffy said. 'I'm shaking I'm so terrified you'll say no.'

'Buffy,' Satsu whispered, reaching out her hand. Buffy took it. 'Don't be scared. How can I say no?'

'I'm not sure about the specifics, but it has something to do with the shape or position of your tongue and your vocal chords, I think.'

Satsu gave a delighted little giggle. 'You're so funny,' she said, stepping closer to Buffy, still holding her hand. 'I love that about you.'

'I mean it Satsu,' Buffy said. 'Maybe it's a slayer thing. This connection I feel. Do you know how special that is? I've gone through my entire life as a Slayer, and I've had friends, boyfriends, several of them, but I've never felt connected to anyone. Until you. And I was so scared of that that I denied it even to myself. Until your kiss made me confront it.'

'Like this?' Satsu asked, leaning forward and closing her eyes as their lips met in reunion. Buffy melted into her, surrendering herself to the lithe girl who held her hand.

The two Slayers kissed in the middle of the graveyard as the moon cast its light down on them.

**A/N:** Hey, look, Satsu was actually in this one. Maybe next time it'll get a bit steamy… a bit sexy, maybe… if you catch my meaning. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.


	3. It's Not About Gender Part Three

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It's Not About Gender

Part Three

_One Year Earlier_

'Are you sure about this Buff? Place isn't exactly cosy,' Xander was saying, as he led Buffy down the cold castle corridors. Buffy was looking around, seeing something he obviously wasn't. Maybe it was a little to the left. Or maybe it was a leader thing. Who knew?

'I'm sure,' Buffy said, placing her hand against the stone wall of the corridor, 'this is the place. It's isolated. Perfect for training an army of girls and very defendable.'

'Well, yeah,' Xander said, gesturing around, 'it is a castle.'

'How's the Slayer search going?' Buffy asked.

'Well enough,' Xander replied, 'we've got a bunch of girls coming in tonight. Andrew and Giles are handling the briefing.'

'I want to be there,' Buffy said. 'I'll leave you to handle this?'

'Sure thing Buff.'

(----)

'So, who do we have?'

Sitting around "command central", which was actually just Giles' boring old living room in Kent, Buffy was going over the files of the new girls who would be arriving shortly. Giles polished his glasses over by the window.

'We have several from here in England,' Giles said, replacing his glasses, 'and a few from the US. Those files are for the US girls. We have Mackenzie Stahlwort, just finished high school, from Des Moines, Iowa. Alexa Bell, a runaway, hometown unknown. And finally, Satsu Tokuwa, also just out of high school. Originally from Osaka, Japan, she moved to Sacramento, California with her parents when she was six years old.'

'Are they adjusting to the change?' Buffy asked.

'Miss Stahlwort, as expected, seems to be struggling with it,' Giles said, 'but she is open to her new future - nervous, more than anything. Miss Bell was a problem. She has no interest in using her gifts to help others, and would rather help herself. However, we managed to convince her to give us a go.'

'And the other one?' Buffy checked the files, unable to remember the foreign name. 'Satsu. What about her?'

'Miss Tokuwa is a joy,' Giles said. 'She showed no sign of apprehension. In fact, she seemed to relish her new abilities. I'm sure you will get along.'

'Hmm,' Buffy said, looking at the girl's profile. 'Well, she certainly has the coolest hair I've ever seen.'

(----)

'It's an honour to meet you, Ma'am,' Satsu said, trying hard to keep her eyes from popping out of theirs sockets with lust. Wow, Miss Summers was hot!

Buffy smiled at the polite girl. 'I'm nothing special,' she said, offering her hand. Satsu took it, feeling that instant spark of connection. Buffy felt it as well. 'I'm just a girl like you, chosen and all that.'

Satsu nodded. She knew all about Buffy Summers. Ever since finding out about being a Slayer, she had done everything she could to find out more. The nerdy guy who had told her the truth about her newfound strength had gladly provided her with over the top stories about previous slayers – Buffy Summers to be precise. What was his name? Andrew?

'Alright,' Buffy said, speaking to the group of girls en masse, 'let's take this out back. I want to see what you girls can do.'

'What do you mean, exactly?' Mackenzie Stahlwort asked nervously, fidgeting with her shirt top.

'I mean,' Buffy said, 'that I want you all to attack me, just so I know where each of you are with your Slayer strength, skill and instinct.'

'Oh,' Mackenzie said, eyes wide with fright.

'Don't worry,' Buffy said, attempting to ease the terrified girls nerves, 'this is just a test. I won't hurt any of you.'

Satsu had a sudden insight – the pain would come later. Buffy would only coddle them so much. Would this Mackenzie girl be able to handle it?'

'Let's get on with it then,' Alexa Bell said impatiently.

Buffy led them outside into Mr. Giles' backyard, which was a sprawling mass of green grass and trees. She had them line up facing her.

'Okay,' Buffy said, cracking her knuckles, 'let's see what you girls can do. Come at me.'

Alexa Bell didn't wait for the others. She charged at Buffy with a clumsy punch, which Buffy easily avoided and used against her. Alexa ended up flat on her back. She rolled back to her feet with a snarl and tried again. This time the punch was even sloppier. Satsu winced as Buffy caught her arm and dragged her down to her knees, Alexa's arm trapped painfully.

'Let me go!' Alexa cursed in frustration.

'If you continue like this, you'll never be a Slayer,' Buffy said, quite evenly, not even out of breath. Alexa panted angrily.

'What makes you think – argh!' Buffy pulled on the girls arm just enough to cause pain to shoot through it.

'What else do you have?' Buffy asked. 'Want to go back to living on the streets? I've read your file. We can give you purpose. Training. I can help you, if you let me.'

Alexa said nothing.

'It's up to you,' Buffy said, releasing the girl.

Alexa quickly got up off her knees and stormed away without a word, embarrassed and angry about it.

'What are you waiting for? Didn't I tell you to come at me already?' Buffy asked, turning her attention back to the other girls.

Satsu swallowed her nervousness and tried to take command. 'Come on, if we all attack at the same time, we can overpower her,' she said, speaking to the others.

'Are you crazy? She's way better than us,' Mackenzie argued.

'Individually, yes, but not if we attack together,' Satsu insisted. 'No one is that good.' Although she wasn't sure - she just wanted to impress Buffy.

'Let's do it,' one of the other girls said, getting pumped up.

'On three,' Satsu said, crouching low. 'One… two… three!'

It was over in less than a minute. Buffy moved faster than Satsu could even conceive, taking down girl after girl with hardly an effort. She attempted to take out her legs, but Buffy leapt nimbly up into the air and turned in mid air, attempting a kick. Satsu barely avoided it by throwing herself backwards. Flipping back to her feet, Satsu held back as the other girls attacked again, looking for an opening. She saw one, but Buffy was ready for her attack anyway, and she fell prone to a boot to the stomach.

Flat on her back, feeling like a freight train had smashed its way through her gut, Satsu watched as the rest of the newly activated Slayers fell one by one.

'You're all pretty rough around the edges,' Buffy said, 'but that's to be expected. I've been doing this for eight years now. I train every day and I'm still not as strong as I want to be. I expect the same from you guys. With time and training, you'll be as good as me. Maybe better. That is, if you decide to stick with us. The choice is yours. Giles will fill you in on the rest; I'm off for a shower. Good fight girls.'

And that was how Satsu met Buffy Summers.

(----)

The next time they met, Satsu had gotten a lot better. It was about a month later. The old castle in Scotland had been refurbished and fitted with state of the art equipment, and was now the headquarters for the new Slayer army.

Satsu and the rest of the girls had just moved in and were still trying to get used to the place when Buffy called them all for a joint training session. It went pretty much like the last one, except the new girls put up more of fight. Satsu even managed to land a hit.

Afterwards, nursing their many bruises, the girls listened as Buffy explained a few things about the world of the Slayer.

'We changed the world,' Buffy began. 'It started the first time I died. Another Slayer was called, even thought I was only dead for roughly a minute. That's all it took. The mystic forces surrounding the Slayer are just waiting for one of us to fall, it's inevitable, and so another was called right away. Her name was Kendra. She didn't even last a year. It wasn't because she was weak. It was because, despite all her Slayer skills, or maybe even because of them, she couldn't connect with anyone. She had no desire to live. She didn't care. She knew another would be called in her place.

'The foolish old men who ran the old Watchers council saw fit that all Slayers would have no connections, that they would just be weapons for them to use, because really, who cared if one died? Another will be called. So that's what happened. A girl was called and eventually she died.

'I changed that, I guess. I wanted more for myself. I wanted a life. Friends. So I tried, despite the fact… and I think that kept me alive. But eventually, even I started to feel it, that inevitable pull that all Slayers feel. Death. And so I died. Sacrificed myself. But again, my friends pulled me back. This time literally.

'When we changed the world, when we made all of you potentials into Slayers, we changed that tradition. Look around at your sisters. They are your connection. If you ever feel that way, like you can't continue, like no one understands, look around you. You're not alone. Not like I was. Not like all the others before me. You're a part of something huge. Never forget it.

'I'll see you girls up bright and earlier tomorrow, I've got a lot to teach you,' Buffy finished.

Satsu stood up with the rest of the girls, but she didn't get far. 'Oh, and Satsu, could you stay behind a moment?'

'Sure, Ma'am,' she replied, curious as to what her mentor wanted.

As the other girls trailed away, Buffy stretched a little, and Satsu watched her. Finally, when all of the other girls had left, Buffy spoke again, 'I'll get to the point. I didn't want to say this in front of the other girls. I don't want them to think I'm showing favouritism, but you have the most potential. I can see great things in your future. I'd like to train you privately, if you're up for it. It will be tough, but I know you can handle it. What do you think?'

Satsu nodded eagerly. 'That would be awesome Ma'am,' she said, 'I really want to learn from you. Everything you know. If I can be half the Slayer you are, I'll be happy.'

'You can be more than that,' Buffy said, smiling fondly, 'I'm serious. You're the most talented out of all the girls. I knew it even when we fought last month. Unlike the rest of the girls, you put thought into your attacks, and while they didn't pan out, it was more due to my skill far outmatching yours than anything else. You even showed good leadership skills, getting the girls focused on attacking me.'

'Thank you Ma'am,' Satsu said humbly, a little flustered at all the compliments.

'We'll have to keep it a secret,' Buffy said. 'I don't want the other girls feeling left out. It will have to be late night training. Can you handle that?'

'Absolutely!'

'Your enthusiasm is noted,' Buffy said, smiling kindly.

Satsu blushed a little. 'Sorry,' she said, 'it's just… I'm really excited to be training under you… erm, I mean, you know.' Oh my God, I did not just say that! Mind out of the gutter, Satsu! Don't embarrass yourself! 'I mean, you're _the_ Slayer. It's an honour to even meet you, let alone be your student.'

'You won't be saying that when I'm pushing you past your limits,' Buffy said.

'Whatever it takes,' Satsu said. 'I just want to do you proud.'

'Let's begin then, shall we?' Buffy took a defensive stance. 'Why don't you try and hit me again? Don't hold back.'

'Yes Ma'am!'

**A/N:** I'm going back to explore the early relationship between Buffy and Satsu. Will lead up to their first sexual encounter, then I'll get back to exploring their budding relationship. Might turn out to be more of a fic than I first suspected. Hope you all enjoyed. Oh, yeah, I'm trying to find some Buffy/Satsu fics to read, but I'm not having much luck. Anyone know of any good ones? Thanks.


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